Some days are harder than others in my recovery, i’m just going about my day, minding my own business when the ghosts start coming at me, at first I just turn the corner and take a different path but eventually, no matter how many turns in the maze I make, I inevitably end up surrounded.
The problem with being addicted to alcohol as opposed to something more elicit is that it is everywhere. It’s in the shops, it’s in the cafe, it’s on the tv, it’s even in the post office. FFS. This I discovered recently when I spent a very challenging 10 minutes in a queue waiting to post my niece’s birthday present. I was surrounded by The Demon with all it’s glamour and sparkle shouting out to my alcoholic tendencies. My PAC Man moment of the day.
In these moments I have to review my game plan, I have to step up, square up, take it outside. I will not lose to you, not today, I have to confront it, own it and challenge it, I tell myself I am a winner, an achiever and I will not let The Demon and its dirty tricks take me down.
As with anything I win I get a huge sense of achievement, a surge of power, I take it and store it as no doubt I will need it for use soon enough.
The ghosts are just that, ghosts, ghosts are from the past, they are not the present or the future.
I am a winner and I can and will do this and it feels bloody great.
#Overwhelming alcohol exposure and availability